By Joleen Willis
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February 28, 2023
I’m Joleen the photographer at Love Wildly. I’ve been a wedding photographer for about 14 years. I’ve seen some truly wonderful moments, but I’ve also seen everything behind the scenes that you don’t see in the glossy finished photos and videos. Believe it or not, there is an incredible amount of pressure that comes with hosting a big wedding day. It’s definitely not for everyone! After many years of being behind the curtain on close to 500 weddings, I have seen and heard A LOT. I can say with certainty that none of what you are about to read is speculation. All of this information is based on first-hand experience. A quick note - I’m in no way knocking big weddings! Many couples love the attention, pace, and excitement of a big wedding day. But on the flip side, I have seen many a bride or groom realize while in the midst of their big wedding day, they may have preferred something smaller, slower, with a little less attention on them. Beginning with pre-wedding review about a month out, it is not uncommon for me to hear: The most common things I hear are … “I just want to skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon.” “I want this to be over so I can go back to regular life.” “You know when you study for a test and then forget it all as soon as it’s over? That’s what I’m going to do with this wedding!” It’s not that these couples didn’t want to get married or have a wedding! Big weddings tend to take on a life of their own and can get out of control, fast. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of planning and the pros and cons. Here's what we'll cover: How many hair and makeup artists will you need to hire and how long will it take? How this will affect cost. Where will you get ready? And how your numbers and ceremony location impact the day. How the needs of your bridesmaids will affect your morning (especially in a place unfamiliar to them). You may unintentionally play the role of wedding planner (even if you have one) Last-minute details creep up during moments that should be quiet. Is a big wedding day environmentally friendly? A feeling of obligation to include people in parts of your day that you would rather have in privacy. First look or no first look (and why compromising on this can make me sad for you). Including activities that are special to you, and that you wouldn’t get to do at a big wedding. The pace and timeline of a big wedding day Choosing a location based on numbers and the convenience of your guests (not to mention the cost). Can you include your dogs? Saying vows in front of an audience, and the feeling of putting on a show. What happens immediately following the ceremony (after that surreal walk back down the aisle). What will your photos look like? What will the picture-taking process “feel” like? The amount of time it takes to have a “meaningful conversation with all your guests” in real numbers. One final thought to consider - the clean-up.